1 down

The fall semester officially began for me today at 12 in the afternoon. After that, I had two more classes and then I called it a day. I started my day off with a meeting at the Weekender, the entertainment publication I'm doing my internship at, and I'm very intimidated. He assigned me a story for next week and it's nothing too complicated but I'm very stressed at the idea of making a good impression. He told me a goal for the interns is for them to write a cover story but some just haven't had the time or the ability and I WANT that cover story. It would just be epic. But back to my classes, my first was Philosophy and that is going to be a nightmare. I've heard awful rumors about him and I got a glimpse of them for the one hour I had to spend with him. I'm just hoping I can stay afloat and not completely kill my GPA.

Apart from that, today was nothing great. The weather was cool and I got to wear my Steve Madden boots. I was loving how I looked and felt in them! And as for my love life, I'm going to say there is no one but there is definitely a crush. An old flame, no one knew and not even really a flame. An old flicker might be more appropriate but still.. I'm waiting it out. If not, I'm just going to keep on going. I've managed to stay in my happy-go-lucky mood for the most part and I'm proud of myself. Now I will return to Project Free Tv and catch up on True Blood.

Plenty of fish

.. are not on the internet. Their site should read plenty of psychos. I've literally been scared out of the site and just now deleted my profile. I am officially done with online dating. I rather be alone for all of my life with 12 cats than deal with these immature little boys who have ridiculous ideas of how a "relationship" should be. The jokes on me, really, since I entertained them and the idea of actually meeting someone decent through these stupid sites. The commercials LIE. It's false advertising, I swear. I've just gotten into the most absurd fight I will EVER get into with someone who is NOT my boyfriend, never wanted to be but fought with me until he was blue in the face to try and cover up his contradictions. This might be tolerable if he was my age but he isn't. I'm so angry and so disgusted with him and ME for not listening to my instincts and shutting this creep out sooner. It's the "I-will-ruin-your-life" kind of anger but he doesn't have much of that so there's no point. UGHhhhhFUCKBASTARDAKFH409RJFOJLDKSMLDSSAdskfjsdklfds.

Wordz

I called this words because that's all it's going to be. There's no purpose and for once, I'm not going to complain or be super emo because I'm actually good right now. For no particular reason, and even despite the fact that I've been spending large amounts of time in my room since I moved in, I'm feelin' ok. I have to keep reminding myself I'm here early and my babies aren't all back yet. I have a few lunch dates lined up, one that I'm sort of nervous to even go on but I don't feel like writing about him just yet. Actually, I have written about him but he doesn't have a nickname. I'll think about it and get back to this. But.. I'm getting excited to be back in class. I'm ready for my mind to pour over different things other than my questionable love life and family troubles. Im especially excited to start my internship. As much as I am nervous, I am anxious to finally get a taste of what it's like to write for an actual print publication, something people outside of my college community read. It's weird, having all this time because my summer, I was constantly on the go between Red Robin, summer class, and shuffling between friends and family. I think I'm just really taking the time to relax and have time to myself and let myself be optimistic about the semester to come and to forget my shortcomings and my not so graceful moments.

But other than that, yesterday I bought the soundtrack for the movie 500 days of Summer and I've never fallen in love with an inanimate object so hard as I have with this soundtrack. It's just..perfect. It's a lot of Indie artists like Regina Spektor, The Smiths, Feist, Wolfmother, and Mumm-Ra. Lately, I've been listening to a few more Indie artists like the Softpack and I have yet to be disappointed. Right now, I'm just all about changes, new things, and new hopes. I hope it lasts =)

Home sweet home (sort of)

I am officially moved in to my new apartment for my junior year of college!

That's weird, saying I'm a junior. I moved in a day early because I'm going to be an orientation assistant and help coordinate the new freshman, with moving in and events and such. When we did some ice breaker activities, they split us up by grade and listening to people in my grade say "Hi my name is..lalala..and I'm a junior," I felt SO weird. Honestly, I still feel like a freshman even though I have come such a long way since then. It's just so unreal. bUT the apartments are really nice and have a modern feel to them. Two of my roommates have just moved in and I'm anxious to see how we all get along together. My roommate from last year is with me and I'm in love with her so that'll be good. I have some more training for orientation assistant in a couple hours. It's weird, blogging so early in the day. Summer is so over :(

If you're gonna be there, be there

I've either been too busy, tired, or depressed to blog. It seems like I can't avoid being emotional about something.. whether it's not being able to order wings for dinner, my ex-boyfriend, or a song played on an acoustic guitar.. it's unavoidable. Tonight? Upset that I fooled myself into thinking you could meet an honest man with relationship potential on a site that refers to the sex your looking for as fish.

Although I have been incredibly good about my ex-boyfriend, keeping him blocked and refusing to think of him, the more and more I endure relationship mishaps, the more I'm convinced I'll never find something that compares to him, or at least the old him. Case and point? I met someone literally 3 days ago and since we've exchanged numbers and iChat. He's not Brad Pitt but there's something about him that draws me to him and makes me anxious when I don't know I'm going to talk to him next. BUT.. the fallback is he is EXTREMELY attracted to me, so much so that it's all he ever talks about, refers to, suggests as solutions to problems (etc). I see some of my ex-boyfriend in him and can't tell if it is the part that attracts me to him or if it is the part that repels me. I was so annoyed with him tonight that I didn't even want to talk. Since, he's gone to bed but here I am, awake with thoughts like this. I'm getting choked up just writing this because I'm sad. I'm really sad and I don't know how to make this hurt any less.

God, I need school. It'll give me plenty of distractions.

Daylight - Matt and Kim

I've done it. All the money I made this summer, all the aggravating hours I've spent pouring over milkshakes and bottomless fries have led me to this point: an official Macbook owner :) RIP Dell. Once I make way to the W-B for school, I'll leave it behind for my sister to play the Sims on and that's about as useful as that machine will be. It's so surreal, actually having the money to spend on this. I'm already smitten like a kitten.

Other than that, I had my last Western Civ class - good riddance Santa! I pulled off a B, maybe? I've been doing some apartment shopping (nothing like last minute) and got some kitchen supplies, a television that I opened and found that I'm missing screws?, and some school supplies. At 3 am yesterday, I was going hard on my room, finding out what things I had and or needed for school since this time next week, I'll be breaking in my new apartment bed with my new comforter :) Sigh, summer.. I'll miss you. However, I did find A LOT of loose change and a birthday check I never cashed for forty bucks..bonus! Although, this morning I couldn't find it haha TYPICAL.

Why am I even awake? My body is so ready to be on college time.

1 week

I got stiffed on a 50 dollar bill tonight.. What. The. Fuck? I was so nice to them, even when the lady ate half her sandwich and decided she wanted a new bun, "The bun isn't fresh. It's too crumbly." OH, so glad you realized that after you salivated all over the meat. But overrall, I made some decent cash and hope this next weekend helps me rake it in because it's time to get my computer!

I had some yummy pancakes with one of my bestest this morning nd it was a nice way to start my day. After I got to work, though, it sortof went down hill. My favorite manager, Jenn, had her last night today and when we gave her flowers and a cake, she got emotional so naturally, I got emotional. It's like an instant reflex: if I see someone crying in front of me, on screen in a movie or commercial, or over the phone.. I CRY. It doesn't help I already cry about everything too. The upside to the night, however, was Italian Stallion. I feel like I layed some groundwork (he has my number ;]) so we'll see. We'll only work together one more day. I can't believe I'm going back to school in a week..so not ready.