???

It's midnight and while I should be in bed, I'm here battling with my thoughts. I can't decide what I want to blog about! >:o I was going to mention how someone's mood can be easily influenced by the weather, a song, a young boy, a friend.. (etc). Then I wanted to write about how poor I am and how much I wish that I had stacks of cash to spend mindlessly on insignificant things like $150 dollar rings and new cars. But now.. now, I'm sort of obsessing over the idea of college. I can thank Facebook for that. Since it's September, a lot of kids are returning to high school and those that have just graduated this past summer are starting their first semester as a freshman. I've looked through a few albums of some people I know and just think how my freshman year was the EXACT opposite. I was outgoing, yes, but I didn't immediately submerge myself in the college life, i.e, parties. I NEVER went out and actually just had one really good friend who I spent a majority of my year with. I don't even talk to that girl anymore. The point is.. I'm looking, or stalking however you want to put it, at these pictures and I feel like their college experience is already exceeding mine. I'm in my third year; they're in their third week. What I'm trying to say is maybe I'm not getting all I can out of MY OWN college experience. Maybe King's wasn't the right place for me.. or maybe it was. All of it falls back on me.. my choices. I chose to come here. I chose to stay in my dorm room freshman year. But does the social aspect really make or break your experience? Maybe I'm flourishing academically. Maybe if I went somewhere else, I wouldn't have gotten involved with their newspaper. Today I'm assistant editor-in-chief and a large part is because one of my best friends Sara. I would have never met her and that would have been a shame. The people I've met and learning what I want to do with my life has proven to be my most valuable experiences. Will I be able to say college was the best time of my life when I graduate? Ugh, my head starts to hurt thinking about things like this. High school and college are trying times for me.. learning about myself, who I want to be, where I want to end up, making and breaking friendships (not relationships because i repel charming, committing young men).. and although this blog is seemingly negative, I think that maybe the best, for me, is yet to come.