If you're gonna be there, be there

I've either been too busy, tired, or depressed to blog. It seems like I can't avoid being emotional about something.. whether it's not being able to order wings for dinner, my ex-boyfriend, or a song played on an acoustic guitar.. it's unavoidable. Tonight? Upset that I fooled myself into thinking you could meet an honest man with relationship potential on a site that refers to the sex your looking for as fish.

Although I have been incredibly good about my ex-boyfriend, keeping him blocked and refusing to think of him, the more and more I endure relationship mishaps, the more I'm convinced I'll never find something that compares to him, or at least the old him. Case and point? I met someone literally 3 days ago and since we've exchanged numbers and iChat. He's not Brad Pitt but there's something about him that draws me to him and makes me anxious when I don't know I'm going to talk to him next. BUT.. the fallback is he is EXTREMELY attracted to me, so much so that it's all he ever talks about, refers to, suggests as solutions to problems (etc). I see some of my ex-boyfriend in him and can't tell if it is the part that attracts me to him or if it is the part that repels me. I was so annoyed with him tonight that I didn't even want to talk. Since, he's gone to bed but here I am, awake with thoughts like this. I'm getting choked up just writing this because I'm sad. I'm really sad and I don't know how to make this hurt any less.

God, I need school. It'll give me plenty of distractions.