Beautiful Sundays

My iPod shuffle is being very good to me this afternoon: The Hush Sound, Imogen Heap, Iron & Wine, John Mayer..(etc). Some of these songs I actually forgot how much I enjoyed them. I'm sitting on my bed with the window cracked open and it's beautiful out. I wish it could be like this all year, like this pre-fall weather that includes cool afternoons and enough warmth to go without long-sleeves or jackets. If there is a place in the world like that, please tell me because I want to make plans to live there now.

Not really much to update.. my roommates have all left me for Labor Day weekend and campus is so empty. I'm actually going to leave my apartment today to help a friend find things to decorate his room. Tonight, I'm going to submit my Weekender article and I'm really nervous about it. It's my first one and I hope that when I meet with my editor, he doesn't have much he wants to correct and actually likes it. I can write an article, I know I can. I wouldn't be assistant editor in chief of the school paper for nothing but the question is can I write well? Can I hack it for a real, legitimate publication? I guess on Tuesday we'll find out. Then again, if I was incapable, would I have even been offered this internship? Oh Steph, shut up. I'm just happy to finally be focused on things that matter for a change, instead of a dumb boy. Well actually..there is a dumb boy but I'm not worried about it.

Troubled thoughts

I can't believe tomorrow is Friday. Correction: I can't believe tomorrow is Friday and the first week of classes has come and gone. With my Crown and Weekender story due, with a lot of reading that has to get done.. the calmness I experienced this week is definitely not going to last. But, it isn't that that's troubling me.

A while back I blogged about a friend of mine, or former friend, who literally just woke up one day and decided to disassociate herself with me. I did confront her a few times, she made pitiful attempts at trying to meet up, until finally she blocked me on aim and facebook. Immature, yes. Understandable, no. So tonight, my closest friend who was also friends with her, and might I add also burned, is in her apartment and without her personal invitation, this former friends winds up there. Now, I assume anyway, they're all drinking because tonight it's the former friends birthday. Is it wrong for me to be upset about this? I'm not upset with my closest friend but more so at the fact at how it was only me that was completely shut out. Lately, I've been really wondering if I should ask her what it is that I did, that after everything we'd been through together, she could just act that way? I don't in any way want to reconcile the friendship because now I see the kind of person she really is but I feel like I can stop being so bitter if I have this closure. What really gets me is that this former friend is also hanging out with a girl she swore off with a couple semesters ago. This girl who wrote an e-mail saying how much she wished bad upon my former friend and that she couldn't wait for my former friend to get her karma. I just don't understand and it's making me feel really crappy. I know I'm not a perfect person, but I'm also not a bad one. What could I have possibly done that it doesn't merit an explanation? Ugh.

I wanna do bad things with you

The first half of today was very productive. I woke up early, walked down into the square to meet for a staff meeting at the Weekender. From there, I went to my three classes and then right after, an orientation meeting for fall interns. Shortly after, I went over to the campus center and met in the Crown office (the school newspaper) to plan this week and the following week's issue. I'm not even sure some planning got done but we kicked around some ideas so I suppose it was productive?

As for the second half of my day, when I was not consuming anything within a 10 mile radius of me, I layed on my bed watching episodes of True Blood. I won't lie, for a brief moment I was concerned about bed sores. Sitting and watching hours of episodes about blood-crying and insanely good looking dead, delicious men does something to a girl. To me, it made me think of my vampire alter ego. Her name is Ivona and Ivona has long, dark, rich black hair. It's going to have the kind of curls you'd see in a black and white film starring Marlon Brando. My hair will always, ALWAYS have a shiny finish and my physical figure will resemble Megan Fox but not her hands. Her thumbs look like baby toes. I'd always be in stilettos aaaand that's as far as I got. Naturally, I would be Zac Efron's maker and he and I would live blissfully in eternal damnation. Hahahaha.

Anyway, blogging was a way to keep me from simply clicking Episode 10. I need to save something for me to do tomorrow since I have no classes. Hmm.. sleep now.

1 down

The fall semester officially began for me today at 12 in the afternoon. After that, I had two more classes and then I called it a day. I started my day off with a meeting at the Weekender, the entertainment publication I'm doing my internship at, and I'm very intimidated. He assigned me a story for next week and it's nothing too complicated but I'm very stressed at the idea of making a good impression. He told me a goal for the interns is for them to write a cover story but some just haven't had the time or the ability and I WANT that cover story. It would just be epic. But back to my classes, my first was Philosophy and that is going to be a nightmare. I've heard awful rumors about him and I got a glimpse of them for the one hour I had to spend with him. I'm just hoping I can stay afloat and not completely kill my GPA.

Apart from that, today was nothing great. The weather was cool and I got to wear my Steve Madden boots. I was loving how I looked and felt in them! And as for my love life, I'm going to say there is no one but there is definitely a crush. An old flame, no one knew and not even really a flame. An old flicker might be more appropriate but still.. I'm waiting it out. If not, I'm just going to keep on going. I've managed to stay in my happy-go-lucky mood for the most part and I'm proud of myself. Now I will return to Project Free Tv and catch up on True Blood.

Plenty of fish

.. are not on the internet. Their site should read plenty of psychos. I've literally been scared out of the site and just now deleted my profile. I am officially done with online dating. I rather be alone for all of my life with 12 cats than deal with these immature little boys who have ridiculous ideas of how a "relationship" should be. The jokes on me, really, since I entertained them and the idea of actually meeting someone decent through these stupid sites. The commercials LIE. It's false advertising, I swear. I've just gotten into the most absurd fight I will EVER get into with someone who is NOT my boyfriend, never wanted to be but fought with me until he was blue in the face to try and cover up his contradictions. This might be tolerable if he was my age but he isn't. I'm so angry and so disgusted with him and ME for not listening to my instincts and shutting this creep out sooner. It's the "I-will-ruin-your-life" kind of anger but he doesn't have much of that so there's no point. UGHhhhhFUCKBASTARDAKFH409RJFOJLDKSMLDSSAdskfjsdklfds.

Wordz

I called this words because that's all it's going to be. There's no purpose and for once, I'm not going to complain or be super emo because I'm actually good right now. For no particular reason, and even despite the fact that I've been spending large amounts of time in my room since I moved in, I'm feelin' ok. I have to keep reminding myself I'm here early and my babies aren't all back yet. I have a few lunch dates lined up, one that I'm sort of nervous to even go on but I don't feel like writing about him just yet. Actually, I have written about him but he doesn't have a nickname. I'll think about it and get back to this. But.. I'm getting excited to be back in class. I'm ready for my mind to pour over different things other than my questionable love life and family troubles. Im especially excited to start my internship. As much as I am nervous, I am anxious to finally get a taste of what it's like to write for an actual print publication, something people outside of my college community read. It's weird, having all this time because my summer, I was constantly on the go between Red Robin, summer class, and shuffling between friends and family. I think I'm just really taking the time to relax and have time to myself and let myself be optimistic about the semester to come and to forget my shortcomings and my not so graceful moments.

But other than that, yesterday I bought the soundtrack for the movie 500 days of Summer and I've never fallen in love with an inanimate object so hard as I have with this soundtrack. It's just..perfect. It's a lot of Indie artists like Regina Spektor, The Smiths, Feist, Wolfmother, and Mumm-Ra. Lately, I've been listening to a few more Indie artists like the Softpack and I have yet to be disappointed. Right now, I'm just all about changes, new things, and new hopes. I hope it lasts =)

Home sweet home (sort of)

I am officially moved in to my new apartment for my junior year of college!

That's weird, saying I'm a junior. I moved in a day early because I'm going to be an orientation assistant and help coordinate the new freshman, with moving in and events and such. When we did some ice breaker activities, they split us up by grade and listening to people in my grade say "Hi my name is..lalala..and I'm a junior," I felt SO weird. Honestly, I still feel like a freshman even though I have come such a long way since then. It's just so unreal. bUT the apartments are really nice and have a modern feel to them. Two of my roommates have just moved in and I'm anxious to see how we all get along together. My roommate from last year is with me and I'm in love with her so that'll be good. I have some more training for orientation assistant in a couple hours. It's weird, blogging so early in the day. Summer is so over :(