Goody, like two shoes

So, the other night I stayed up and read all of my old blog posts. I noticed how most of them are me being super emo and complaining or ranting about boys and other stupid things. One of my blogs I vowed to be more upbeat..but that lasted for a minute. I wish this was a preface to say I'm going to try and make good on that but I'm not. Tonight was not fun.

This morning I worked, made a lousy 20 bucks and came home to fall asleep. I had dreams about the boy I romped with at work and woke up to an empty house. Originally I had plans to go out but they didn't work out so I opted to watched Disney channel, hoping it would improve my Friday night. It did but when Phineas and Ferb came on, I couldn't muster the strength to find something more age appropriate and so I decided to read Eclipse. Actually, I should say I read portions of Eclipse because I started on page 180 and skipped chunks of certain chapters. I just fell in love with Edward again and I got emotional for the ending: Bella finally choosing him over Jacob. You think I'd be used to these heartwrenching decisions because I'm all up on soap operas but nope, still cried. It just made me sad and now I'm in this weird mood, playing sad music on my iPod (ironically 'Never Think' by Rob Pattinson just came on) and I want to curl in a ball and lay in the dark. Why are my emotions so retarded? I feel like I can never be content for more than 5 seconds. I went out last night, had a good night with my sister and her friends, and this morning was particurlarly flirty with Italian Stallion, although he shut me down to hang out. I can't figure him out.. he winks and calls me cutie, but when I offer invites for him to feel me up, he declines. Ok, I don't really say feel me up.. but still. Being miserable is not fun and being a somber sally is not attractive.

Sigh. One day these blogs are going to be bursting with sunshine and endorphins. Tomorrow I'm going to the beach so maybe a day by water will help me with my mood.