1000 clever lines

Another weekend has come and gone and tonight, at 12:32 in the morning, I'm in a strange mood. For the past hour & a half, I've been listening to Ashley Tisdale's "It's Alright, It's Ok" and I can't stop. If my laptop wasn't a dilapitated piece of crap, I could upload it to my gym playlist for tomorrow. Slowly but surely I'm getting back into the gym - last week I went one day, haha. It's pitiful actually but this week - FOR REALZ - I'm hittin' it everyday and I'm going to throw away the two bags of chocolate I bought (and have been binging on) this weekend.

Friday night, my older sister and I decided last minute to go to Abyss, an overrated club a couple towns over. We pre-gamed and danced our man troubles away. I wore these killer heels that made me tall and feel delicious. I wear them around the house like slippers because I just love them. Saturday I worked but my tips could have fooled you - it was dead city. I came home to shovel away a pint of Ben & Jerry's and finished my book, People Are Unappealing by Sara Barron. It's a good laugh and she even had a chapter devoted to serving. One line she wrote was epic and has stuck with me, "Service with a smile is a response, not a guarentee." I haven't decided what to read next. I think Wuthering Heights because I'm in the mood for an old fashioned, almost impossible to read romance novel. Also, Twilight has had me wanting to read it for the longest time. But, the book I just finishedwas a memoir and anytime I read a memoir, I think: "I can do this!" Honestly, I've had jobs that show me the worst sides of people. I have had thoughts of jumping behind a counter and giving paper cuts to customers with their fake coupons. I've wanted to launch a ninja attack on guests who don't know how to tip. I've taken the plan B pill and engaged in scandalous escapades. I think Macy's is high end shopping and drive a Buick that breaks down on cue. I have a membership to a few online dating sites, I mean COME ON! And then I tweet about them. I could have literary gold on my hands if I tried. At least I think so, but anyway.

I'm sick and my tubes hurt. I'm fortunate to have my tubes hurting though so I'm not complaining. Thinking of starting a new blog, something less personal so I can post it on Facebook. Does that make me self-absorbed? Whatever. I'm going to turn it in.. but not after I check my newest online dating account. Ugh, I make myself sick.