Demi Lovato and Other Revelations

I have ten minutes until my night class and I feel like a 4-year-old who has just had one too many pixie sticks and is crashing from their sugar high. My eyes are puffy from allergies and I look hideous. Mondays <3

Demi Lovato is annoying. Everything about her irritates me: how she tries to be above artists today, how she thinks she is the only one to have an edgier appearance or to incorporate guitars into her pop music (etc). She got her rise to fame doing Camp Rock, a disney channel movie with the JoBros (as I finish this sentence, my iPod shuffled to Demi - ironic much?). As much as I am not liking her as an individual, her music is growing on me. Her newest single, "Don't Forget," is the story of my life. It's honest and it cuts me deep down in the cavity I assume my guts would be. Other songs I entertain by her are "Get Back" and "La La Land" and we can't leave out the Camp Rock specials, "We Rock," "Who Will I Be," and another one I can't remember and am too lazy to look it up. But "Don't Forget" is one of the five songs I am listening to on repeat. Go figure.

Four minutes to go but I want to write about my Sunday evening. In the matter of two hours, I managed to get hurt by my friend and find out another boy who I may have liked is just not that into me. All at once, a wave of emotion hit me: betrayal, insignificance, rejected, fat. One thing I hate about me is how I put myself out there - out there naked and open - and never see the results I hope. Another boy, another missed opportunity. I'm not his type - skinny - and it just makes me wonder why I'm never given a chance, never to see if there is potential because of who I am and not what I look like. I feel utterly worthless and that I can never be good enough. I heard today, "Two tears in a bucket, fuck it," and that's perfect. No guy is worth tears and while I'm not as upset he doesn't have feelings for me, I'm going to just keep truckin until the end of the semester and use the summer to forget about the boys (synomous with assholes) I fooled around with. I need to focus on me, and I know I've said this before, but this time I mean it.

One minute. Going to be late, oh well.